TITWTWB - 11 November

Ok... Here we go for another TITWTWB (pron. tit-wut-wub). The games vying for our 10-second-spanned attention this week are here.

First up is the mighty midget; Nintendo's tiny trojan - the DS. Only one title jumps out at me this week for the DS, and it's not Animal Paradise ("Animal Paradise allows you to make friends with and earn the love of 18 different types of animal on your uncle's farm." - I think I saw the film at a party once.) This week's eye-grabbing title for the DS is Mario and Sonic at the Olympics, the two world famous characters together at last ready to battle it out at the Olympic Games. There's no real word on whether this is a straight-faced Track And Field game or if you're going to be firing off spin attacks in the 100 metres and munching performance enhancing fungi in the middle of the high jump event. As with last week's Beowulf and Simpsons, I'm wary of event specific tie-ins, ever since the KP Skips-inspired Clumsy Colin Action Biker game on the Spectrum.

The obvious choice for the PC next week is Crysis from Crytek, the makers of Far Cry, on an all-new CryEngine 2. There aren't any online reviews for this yet, just a couple of mag reviews, both in the 90s. What we can see is that the graphics are gorgeous. The gameplay is mooted to quite open-ended, allowing you to approach levels in a variety of ways, employing various tactics, enhanced by nano-suit and weapon mods. Some superb enemy AI rounds off what sounds like a very very nice FPS. Online multiplayer supports up to 32 players too. This is almost enough to make me think about getting my PC back up to scratch.

PS2 barely warrants a mention with Jackass The Game, International Cricket Captain III and Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey.

Just two releases on the PS3 this time round: Medal of Honor: Airborne and Assassin's Creed (more of which below.) MoH:A follows the fortunes of the 82nd Airborne division as they parachute into a massive area with each new mission. Maybe this will be different enough from other WWII shooters to feel fresh and interesting. The 360 version was met with middling approval, reviews picking up on stale mission objectives and difficult and unforgiving gameplay.

Sony's sexy shiny lozenge (which is getting sexier and shinier by the month), the PSP, is graced with two new releases next week. Firstly is the instantly dismissable International Cricket Captain III, and secondly is the could-be-interesting Warriors of the Lost Empire. An action/RPG slasher featuring two player co-op and short load times.

The 360 bag contains the F.E.A.R Files, a bundle of the Perseus Mandate and Extraction Point add-ons for F.E.A.R. I suppose if you've played F.E.A.R then you've already heard about these expansions, and considered purchasing them. I'm not really able to get worked up about them. Additionally we have a poorly reviewed World Championship Poker, and a (presumably) slipped Beowulf makes another appearance. Cream of the crop for Microsoft's chunky white hoover impressionist is Assassin's Creed. AC goes straight onto my must-play list (hovering corpses or not) with it's open-ended gameplay, impressive graphics and large city-based play areas.

And so on to the awards... I think I made a compositional error by putting the Turd of the Week at the end of last week's synposis, so this time I'm doing that first. Sorry DS, I'm picking on you again this week for the woefully daft and bizarre My Pet Dolphin. Pet sims have proven to be big money for Nintendo, with Nintendogs helping to launch the portable to its dizzying instant success. Other publishers quickly jumped on board with Dogz and Catz and the like. The Sims franchise followed with Sims 2: Pets. But have we really run out of standard domestic animals so quickly? What more unlikely pet could you wish for than a dolphin? Large, heavy, smelly, wet, dangerous and distinctly uncuddly, I can't think of an animal I'd like to share my home with less. Perhaps that's the point - you'll never have a pet dolphin, so it makes it worth simulating. What's the point of simulating a rodent you could pick up from Pets At Home for less than the price of the game cart? Hmm.... no, I won't change my mind. My Pet Dolphin you are Turd of the Week.

Poor old Assassin's Creed. Any other week it would've earned my highly prized Thumbs Up Game of the Week award. Unfortunately for Ubisoft there's a little unassuming console called the Wii. And on that console this week is a game I've been waiting nearly a decade to play - the spiritual successor to Super Mario 64... Ladies and Gentlemen I give you s u d 0's Game of the Week: Super Mario Galaxy. Already at the top of the metacritic Wii charts, two points above Zelda at 97/100, it has garnered four 100-point score reviews proving that Mario is as relevant today as ever. The disk is ready and waiting next to my Wii, but I've promised myself that I will finish Metroid Prime 3 before starting on this. Temptation is growing though, and my will is weak. It's only a matter of time...

Sorry guys - you knew I was going to do that didn't you?